Ooh, look at all this company coming round tonight.
Even Catherine O’Hara’s come by to say hello.
You really wanna know?
Well, I’ll tell you, I might have to pour myself another little moonshine…
Here we go:
It was a sweet and frosty May,
In the town of Thunder Bay,
When Dale and Wendy Day went out to Sweetbrush Lake.
Found a weeping willow to sit down and do the Thunder Bay a go-go,
While the wind was real soft.
Poor little Wendy just had to break.
Later on that month,
Dale went for Pepper lunch at the ‘we’re-all-in-this-together diner’.
Yeah, the pea soup was fine,
The corn cob on time,
The chili dogs even finer.
The real reason was that Wendy was working counter.
Those two little kids just couldn’t get enough of each other.
Dale broke out like a man and said:
‘Wendy I think I want to take your hand and make little children, live beyond the sand.
In respect to the clouds and the colony of your eyes, that day we made love, I’m going to call my little child Amber Jones’
Hey supermodel, set the rest of us free.
Which is exactly what happened.
There ain’t no genie in the bottle, or in that magazine.
Let me ask you one question, and it goes:
Hey supermodel,
What’s it like being pretty?
Now everyone knows that if you’re going to run a successful café,
You have to hire the prettiest waitress.
Amber it turns out had been working at the Pepperlunch café just like her mother did 20 years earlier,
And it boils down to this very simple doctrine,
Given by Ralph Habbasham the owner:
Ralph says the customer is always right,
And the customers here are mostly men,
And though it don’t seem,
]From table 2 to 16,
All men do is dream:
Of falling in love, just like women.
Now sitting at table 20 was a man from New York city who was most impressed with Amber’s poses.
He said, ‘Come over here missy, I gots a kind of proposition, that is, if you’re willing to listen.’
Hey supermodel, set the rest of us free.
There ain’t no genie in the bottle, or in that magazine.
Come with me.
Hey supermodel.
Where will I stay?
My place, where do you think?
Is it big enough?
It’s got a double bed!
And she was just everywhere!
I mean little girls wanted to be like her,
Little boys wanted to be with her,
And even mothers somehow altered their physique just to be a little close to what Amber represented.
One day Amber, who likes the Sweetbrush diner where she used to work, really missed those coconut cake cucumbers,
And made out with one giant flesh missile on the top of her forehead.
Poor little Amber couldn’t do a thing about it.
And her poor career went kinda downhill as the people outside her hotel room penthouse cried out…
Well, you know what they cried out:
Hey supermodel, set the rest of us free.
Sing along with me gals.
There ain’t no genie in the bottle, or in that magazine.
Hey supermodel,
What’s it like being a teen dream?
Shackles, shackles, shackles on my heart,
I loved you from the very first day, from the start,
But you left, call it theft of the heart,
Bring me back the spark,
Pretty girl, pretty princess, that is left.
Bright lights in the glitter,
The shine of the night, right,
You dreamed of the city ’cause you dreamed of flight,
But it’s timber, watch these trees that are falling,
Pretty little princess with no one to call,
It’s a small town now girl, it doesn’t seem so small,
First love, fifth grade, first kiss at the mall, with me.
Y’all check it with the degrees,
Bring it back on the m-i-c,
‘Cause the man’s on his knees,
Small town ways,
In the g’s from grade,
Bring me back sunny days,
We’s that praise, haze,
Y’all tripping through the maze everyday,
In the mind want the grape from the vine that was mine.
Come back y’all to the very first day that we met,
‘Cause I must call it theft, y’all,
Protection and selection of my memories,
Poet on the mic,
With degrees saying please,
Princess y’all, my supermodel girl,
Bring you back pretty princess,
‘Cause I like to rock your world,
One time, smooth, sweet like wine.